Guests. You need guests. You also need invites.

I am so thrilled and excited - things are really starting to come together. The theme is set and that is giving me so many ideas. But no point putting all of this together if noone is going to see it. Guest list here we come!!!

With us both being 50+ you might think that means we have 100's of family and friends to invite. However, at our age we have lost relatives, a lot of them very close relatives. And I think your friendship circle does become tighter compared to in your 20's and 30's. Not because you have fallen out with people but because life evolves and takes you in different directions.

With the venue we had chosen we had a minimum of 50 maximum 85 guests for the service and that was just about right for us. So we set our guest list and it was a comfortable number, slightly over the number we had set our budget on but we know not everyone will be able to come - but if they can, then that is fine too.

Save the Dates need to be sent to said guest list - ok this opened up a whole new world of stationery. What you will find when you start to think about a wedding is once you have used the W-word (wedding) or the B-word (bride) once, the algorhythm machines go bonkers. So you will receive ads for websites like Hitched, Say I Do, Bridebook and loads more - all of which have stationery suites for you to use. You will also see loads of ads for Etsy and other boutique feel sites that will offer you "personalised" stationery.

However, by their very nature, the designs are generic. They are also aimed at a younger audience - not surprisingly. When you look at actual invites, they all tend to start with "The family of Jo and Sam invite you" , or, "Jo and Sam, with their family" as standard wording. If you then look for ones that are just "Jo and Sam" they automatically include pics of a young couple. Yes you can choose your font, adjust your wording and choose your background or select themes: botanical, traditional, floral, elegant etc etc. Nothing was really popping out for me and I started to feel quite dejected.

Yes I am a first time bride, but I am a first time bride at 50+ and I am starting to feel overwhelmed and very out of place again. Ok so maybe I am making too much out of being 50+ but I do feel that I have entered a world that is not meant for my age group. What can I do about this? What can I do to make this feel better for me?

This is when I discovered I had caught something I never thought I would catch. Bride-zilla-itis!!! None of these designs were for me. I didn't want something that any other couple could go and buy. I wanted something that was just for us. Is this because I am a menopausal bride-to-be or is it just that I am fussy and bossy? Probably it is both, but if I feel like I don't belong, then I need to change that and make sure I do become comfortable with this.

Ok, so what is the anwer? Design your own. We talk a lot about AI at work, and I was using it more frequently, so why don't I see what I and AI can come up with. Let me explore the world of ChatGPT.

I set myself up with a freebie account and typed in my prompt. I told it I was having a twilight barnyard wedding early September, and I wanted to design my own Save the Dates. A few question and answer to and fro's later, ChatGPT delivered my first design. It had really taken the barnyard twilight prompt to heart but the imagery was not quite right. So I asked it to amend the design. It did and OMG it was exactly the feel and look I wanted. I would also find out later that the font used, is not a generic font that you can find anywhere else - it was an AI generated style. Unique - just like us !!!

Here I was, in a new relationship with an AI Bot! I was, and still am, very surprised at how it talks to you like it is a real person with opinions. We (bot and I) started tweaking the design and the bot would say things like "I am really loving this for your wedding", or "yes, I agree that is the right feel for you and (name)'s wedding" . I even found myself asking for it's opinion. The thing I find really bizarre now is each time I go back in to ChatGPT and ask it something wedding related, the reply will be along the lines of "this will work well for your twilight wedding and will compliment the vibe we are going for". All of sudden the Bot has decided this is it's wedding.......

Success - the Save the Dates are designed, I have a version that can be used digitally and a version I can have printed. The best bit? When I sent them out I was told by more than one person unsolicited that the design was beautiful. I can now use this design for the rest of the stationery. Woo Hoo.

I have found a way to make this part of my journey work for me rather than me having to fit in with what is out there (or having to spend a chunk of the budget on a designer. Sorry designers I know this is not what you want to hear).

If you are reading this, if you are young or old(er), just know that you do not have to conform if you do not want to. You can make your wedding exactly what you want it to be.